


living for what!?

by ariela_jessiy (orphan_account)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Collage, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Depressed Lance (Voltron), Depression, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hawaiian Hunk (Voltron), How Do I Tag, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, I Don't Even Know, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Korean Keith (Voltron), M/M, Mild Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Texan Keith (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 04:30:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10937031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ariela_jessiy
Summary: Lance is in collage and is struggling harder and harder through depression; he lives with his roommates that have become his friends. He has been fighting since middle school and can’t go on any longer so he slits his wrist and hopes he can die in peace.(this is a sad story at first I promise it has a good ending)





	1. Over View of Life

Lance doesn’t understand why his friends are still his friends. Is it out of pity? Are they just using him? Is it to make them look better? God but one thing is for sure, he loves his friends… they’re the only people in his life that made him feel like ‘himself’. He never told anyone about his depression and how he tried coping through them, and a part of him felt guilty of that. He wishes that he could be honest to them and be his true self. Not the ‘Lance that just flirts for fun, or smiling and being happy all the time’, which some of that is him he wants to be the Lance that can talk to his friends about everything, the Lance that can enjoy laughing and crying with them. But it’s just a wish right? That’s never coming true…

 

It’s 11:23 in the morning and decided it’s probably a smart idea to get up and see what Hunk cooking for breakfast. Hunk was Lance’s best friend from… well… forever. Ever since Lance’s family got a divorce when he was 2 years old, Lance has been taking flights back and forth from Cuba to Hawaii and back. That’s where he met Hunk in Honolulu Hawaii, until they both decided to go to Altea high school, home of the Voltorn in San Antonio Texas. That’s where Hunk and Lance both met Keith and Pidge. Pidge and Keith have both been raised in Texas and are best friends since birth; you would be stupid to have them as your enemy not friend. Pidge is a scientific genius and is the youngest out of all of us… they are a genius but believes in the most stupid shit ever, like bigfoot, the sand man, and mothman? (Which Keith claims his going to marry someday?) **WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS A MOTHMAN?** Keith is… well his one of my other best friend that I have liked... no loved ever since we first started talking, I know I never show it by challenging him to random dares, and joking around about his mullet. But I do like him… even though he’s probably not into jerks like me at all…

“Lance what do you want to eat?” Hunk said snapping Lance back into reality. Lance looks down and sees that he made his usual ‘hunk-tastic quiche’ and some blueberry pancakes. Lance smiles and says “Your usual. Duh. It’s called the hunk-tastic quiche for a reason.” Hunk smiles back “Well it’s called that because you said it was ‘hunk-tastic’ when I first made it. Which was in middle school.” After they were finished they decided to pick up Keith and Pidge from Garrison University because they decided to take morning classes, damn early birds. Lance and Hunk have night classes so they have some time to pick them up and go to the ‘purple gulra café’.

“Come on guys. You guys definitely need some coffee espescially you Pidge. Oh _Dios mío_ ” Pidge looks at Lance trying to choke him just by glaring at him. “ _Cállate la boca_ ” Lance gives a small gasp “Pidge watch your mouth” Lance knows that is one of the only few phrases in Spanish that Pidge knows (shut your mouth) and the only reason Pidge knows that is because their girlfriend Nyma taught them a little bit. Keith silent as usual at this time of day just open the door of the car and just laid all across the back seats, looking like he’s not going to move any time soon. Pidge moved their glare at Keith and Lance and Hunk couldn’t help but laugh. Keith mumbles “what!” in the seats of the car. Pidge being Pidge decides to sit on Keith like he was a sofa and yell into his ear “ **GET UP OR I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GONNA TELL EVERYONE YOU’RE SECRET AND KILLING EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING THAT COMES NEAR YOU IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS!!!!** ” Keith got right up pushing Pidge to the side looking like he just saw a ghost trembling in fear. Everyone knows that Pidge means what they say, they once said they were going to put snakes in everyone’s bed if they didn’t get ready in 15mins, that night there was snakes in everyone’s bed… me and Hunk freaked out and had to sleep in Keith’s room for a week. “seatbelts on” Hunk says, everyone groans because the biggest reason they were roommates was because they didn’t want to have the stress from their parents while they were at collage… but there was no worries Hunk was like that over protective mother that still gives their children freedom so it was cool.

Once we got to the café, Pidge and Keith ran into the café. Pidge ordering a venti sized hot light roasted café mocha with 2 extra shots of coffee. Keith orders a venti sized iced Teavana brewed earl grey. While I was ordering my venti unicorn Frappuccino, they were drinking their drinks like it was the only thing keeping them alive. Lance chuckles and thinks sometimes I wished I was that happy with the big and small things in life, and not fake it. They decided to talk until 3:45 and decide that they should probably head home.

Once they got home Lance says “I need to check if I still have homework or not” lying to his friends yet again… everyone else nods him off. Lance runs into his room closes his door sliding down with his knees to his chest head on the door crying silently… the thoughts came back at the purple galra café and he feels as though he lost all control. He feels that he is useless and everyone would be happier if he was just dead. He roles his sleeves up to scratch the old self harm scars from a couple of weeks ago. Still crying he tries to remember what they have taught him during therapy (breath 7 seconds, hold for 3 and breathe out for 10 seconds) he does it and feels that he kinda stopped crying a little. The thoughts are still there though, he hasn’t missed a day of school yet so if he misses today it’ll be fine right. He locks the door so no one will come in and texts in the group chat.

**[BlUeOcEaN;Lance]**

_**I’m not going to my classes today, I’m not feeling to well. And this is my first day staying home all year so let me.** _

 

**[HAWAIIAN HUNKY]**

_**Okay bro. I’ll tell you what you miss.** _

 

**[Pidgeon3.14159]**

_***cough* wimp *cough*** _

_**Oh Btw I’m not gonna be here. Have group project w/ Shay and Rolo. And I'm staying over at Nyma's place.** _

 

**[BlUeOcEaN;Lance]**

_**Okay, I’ll see you guys later.** _

 

 

Lance turns off his phone and plummets face first onto his bed.


	2. I Guess 1 Person Cares!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith figures out what's going on but he was too late. He is scared that his decisions killed Lance.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING

Lance a couple of hours later wakes up exhausted out of his mind, he just stares at his ceiling listening to some music; mostly Bastille, AJR, Hollywood Undead, Sleeping with Sirens, and Twenty one Pilots. A half an hour passed he heard a knock on his door Lance is a mess sobbing uncontrollably staring into space thinking about life decisions.

But Keith is worried about Lance actually… Keith has always been worried about Lance he noticed the small moments when he would turn away to stop faking a smile for a second, or the moments he would stay up all night crying, even the moments when he sleeve of his jacket would show some of his self-harm scars even if it’s just for a second. Keith knew Lance was dealing through a lot ever since he first locked himself in the bathroom in Keith and Shiro (Keith’s brother)’s house for 10 mins and he came out looking like he was just forcing a smile and didn’t look natural at all. Ever since then Keith always wondered why Lance never asked for help or tell anyone about his severe depression, or lies about himself. But Keith didn’t want to force anything so he usually makes an excuse for lance when his acting out of the ‘ordinary Lance’ because everyone worries about him, **HIS OUR BEST FRIEND OF COURSE WE WOULD WORRY…**

 

“Hey, Lance. You okay? Do you want anything for dinner?” nothing but a small sob comes out of his room. “Lance please answer me…” still nothing. “…Lance?...” Keith wants to tell him so much and how he deserves the world… but he doesn’t, because Lance doesn’t know that Keith knows what he’s going through. “…Lance? Tell me or text me if you need anything… and I mean it.” Keith didn’t mean the last part to come out rough, but it did. Keith loved Lance… and seeing him like this hurts him a lot. Of course he knows Lance doesn’t feel the same way, he’s straight and that hurt too.

 

Lance heard Keith the whole time, when he checked up on Lance it was 6:37 and know it is 9:21 it’s almost been 4 hours and Lance hasn’t been getting any better… he’s considering letting Keith in so they could talk, he did say anything right? … never mind. It was around 3:00am when he could even get a wink of sleep. Keith on the other hand stays up all night, he couldn’t stop worrying about Lance. He wouldn’t know what to do if Lance committed suicide… so on nights like this he tends to stay up all night thinking, doing homework and stuff.

It was 6:00 am Hunk just got back a couple of hours ago and Keith just woke up realizing he passed out on the couch. He runs straight into his room and gets ready for his morning classes, writes a quick letter sticks it under the door of Lance’s room and heads out.

Lance wakes up at 7:00 feeling actually worse but gets up anyway and sees that there was a letter from Keith near his door, he could tell it was from Keith because he writes in red most of the time.

“ _Lance,_

_I’m sorry I wasn’t much help last night, but I hope you feel better this morning. I hope you can get rid of this little cold and join us as roommates having some fun again._

_I’m here if you need anything, even if it’s just someone to talk too._

_Keith._ ”

 

Keith feels bad? He did nothing wrong… it was all Lance’s fault right? Shit he should probably text him and tell him not to worry. He fucked up again. If he was just out there or let Keith in and just acted ‘normal’ everything would be so much better… maybe he should get up and just walk it off…

 

“hey Hunk what’s for breakfast this fine morning?” Lance says forcing a smile on his lips. Hunk turns around. “Dude you never get sick, you should probably stay in bed. I’ll bring you breakfast if you want.” Lance shakes his head. “I’m fine, just a little tired that’s all. Don’t worry.” Hunk shrugs and hands him an omelet and some SpriteR. “You know you don’t have to go to your classes today too… I mean you’re sick and I’m worried for you that is all” Hunk said. Lance feels a sinking feeling in his chest does Hunk not want him around anymore? Not even his best friend from when they were babies wants him around anymore. Shut up Lance that’s probably not the case. He can feel a frown crawling onto his lips while he says. “oh okay, if that would make you feel better” he realized he was sounding hurt. Which he was but he didn’t have to show it…

They picked up Pidge and Keith again. He couldn’t help but notice some girl was flirting with Keith, he felt his heart shatter in thousands of pieces trying to hold back the tears. Keith can be happy with anyone besides it’s not like Lance could do anything to make Keith happy anyway. Pidge was kissing Nyma good bye when Keith looked over to the car and saw Lance actually out of his room, he ran up to Lance and tapped the window when he opened the window Keith hugged him out of pure joy of still seeing him alive. Lance cried a little into Keith’s jacket whispering a sorry and his breathe. Then Keith let go and sat in the back seat.

 

“Pidge, if you’re not coming we’re leaving you. Bye bye” Hunk waved her off jokingly. “ **WAAAAAAAAAAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** ” Pidge screams. Everyone chuckles while they set in the back crossing their arms refusing to look at any of them.

 

Once they got to the purple galra, all of them sat down and talked a little.

 

“So that girl, did you get her number.” Lance smiles and winks. Pidge and Keith looked at each other and busted out laughing. Hunk and Lance looked confused. Pidge calms down a little while Keith can’t stop laughing. “Guys, do you know what’s one of the reasons we get along?” Lance and Hunk are still confused… “We’re both Gayyyyyyy.” Pidge tells them two like they were both babies. Keith calms down a little and nods. Hunk and Lance look at each other asking each other if they should come out too just by looking at each other. “Cool, I’m Pan and Lance is Bi.” Huck says with a smile. Lance looks a little flustered while Keith and Pidge are in shock. “I get you because, you love everyone Hunk… but huh Lance Bi? It makes sense and also doesn’t at the same time.” Pidge says, Lance’s face getting into a darker shade of red. “What does that supposed to mean?” Lance asks Pidge hiding his face into his hands. Pidge ignores him while they’re trying to unfreeze Keith from his shocked state. Keith is thinking through so much while he’s frozen. Lance’s Bi? What else was Keith wrong about? Oh my god could Lance like him…

 

He could hear Pidge say “ **3, 2, 1!** ” Keith didn’t know what they were talking about until he felt a cold chill down his back. He screamed realizing they dumped ice down the back of his shirt. “ **WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?** ” Pidge was laughing and Hunk was texting, but Lance was gone. Keith turned to Pidge so fast that he scared them. “He left to go home. Why?” Hunk says, Keith looks like he’s in panic “I feel like a douche, I must have made him feel bad. I’ll head home and see if he’s there and apologize to him.”

While Keith was heading home, Lance was already there crying. He couldn’t have a worst day in his life everyone thinks he’s a freak, they guy he loves didn’t say **ANYTHING** when he came out, and his best friend wants to get rid of him. “Maybe I should just die he says to himself.” Holding one of his knifes in his hand and slits his wrist wide open right when Keith barges through the door, he sees Lance on the floor blood and tears all over the ground of the bathroom. Keith cries and dials 911 for a medic… he runs to get a towel and runs back to Lance. “I should have been there for you. I’m sorry.” He says tears rolling down his face while wrapping and putting pressure on Lance’s wrist. Keith keeps repeating “I’m sorry” over and over again while holding lance in his arms making sure to keep pressure on the wound. Lance passes out in his arms and the medic shows up a few seconds later.

 

Keith told them that he doesn’t want to leave his side, that he did and this happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope they both work out... 
> 
> I'm sorry, I feel bad for hurting my babies but it makes a great story and I feel like this would actually happen in Voltron.

**Author's Note:**

> The other chapters are gonna have more angst and be depressing but I promise it'll have a happier ending...
> 
> I'll try and post a new chapter everyday this week but I don't know 100% for sure, because I still have school... but once June is here there will be a bunch of chapters coming soon in all of my Fanfics.


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